everything looks perfect from far away

Here’s a game to have some fun while boozing this holiday weekend. It’s called Cell Phone Roulette. Enjoy.

The Rules:

1. Three words, diseases, phrases, or celebrity names are chosen, each of which must be used in your call. The more obscure the terms, the more skill it takes to weave them into a somewhat lucid conversation. For example:

   Round One: alpaca, Mayim Bialik, rickets
   Round Two: gorgonzola, gonorrhea, Soleil Moon Frye
   Round Three: Zsa Zsa Gabor, Tourette’s, scrapple



2. All players open their cell phone contact lists and start scrolling up or down as decided before play. An impartial observer tells you when to start scrolling and when to stop at their discretion. If you land on a family member or boss, you can pass and go one up or one down as the impartial observer decrees. This will be your roulette target.


3. All players take turns calling their targets. They have exactly ONE minute to talk to the person or leave a voicemail for the other person, which is timed by an observer or competitor. You can not talk for any more or less than one minute. You must use all three terms as naturally as you possibly can in your minute.


4. You can not tell the person on the other end of the line that you are playing cell phone roulette. In fact, you can not tell them what you were up to for at least 24 hours. Only after a day has passed can you do damage control.


5. Someone is crowned the “winner” of each round based on the hilarity of their conversation, their creativity in using the required words, and their adherence to the previous four rules, but really, everyone listening is a winner.